Breaking the chain, setting yourself free

After 2.5 years of a lot of traveling I am now back for 4 months in The Netherlands and what do you think is happening? While I feel I have ‘changed’ and grown the surrounding is still kind of the same. I notice how especially being with family has two sides. One side is filled with so much love and closeness because we have spent so much of our lives together. On the other side it is in a family that often everyone has a certain role and it is not easy to step out of the role. Even though these roles have shifted over these years when I visited family, there are still challenges in these close relationships. Most of all I am becoming aware that I am passing through family or even ancestral patterns. These challenges are not bad, in the contrary, these are opportunities to break them. To break free, you are not who you were yesterday. In this blog I will share ways to break the patterns including my new experience of a family constellation and a breath work session.

A closer look at family and cycles. We are born, which is magical, in a family and we are raised by our parents. Every parent had an example of their parents and so on. This is how we are linked with our ancestors and often we ‘copy’ our parent’s behavior. This can be beneficial in case of good, positive and loving behavior but a torture when this is destructive, negative and addictive behavior. First of all we need to understand that our parents did whatever they could, they did their best and still we can feel that we missed something. As an adult we can fill whatever we missed by ourselves and we can break destructive patterns. These patterns are stored in the subconscious. Whenever there are certain triggers from outside you can take on a fight/freeze/flight modus. In this mode the heartbeat raises and you can’t think clearly, the subconscious takes over. The reaction which follows is rooted in the pattern. This is how, for example, often the same kind of partners are attracted. Even in case of destructive partners, it is remarkable that the patterns can keep on repeating. In the Yoga philosophy the patterns are called ‘Karmic seeds’ and the cycle goes on infinitely till we break them. The moment we start to make contact with our subconscious things will shift, the same situation will happen but you can have a different reaction.

“We need to go to the root to take out the weeds.”

To start breaking your patterns there is little needed only courage. It is the courage to be HONEST to ourselves! A basic, out of balance first chakra believe is ‘I am not good enough’. This is what I thought for a long time without being conscious of it. These believes are rooted in our unconscious but it influences our reaction in situations. When we deny (!!!) these believes and we say to ourselves a few times I am good enough, we keep repeating the cycle because we will still react in the same way as if we are not good enough. We need to go to the root to take out the weeds. This can be sometimes painful and that is the reason some prefer to keep on repeating the cycle. But I can tell you that this is much more painful in the end. Scenario 1: Imagine your tooth is hurting and you don’t give it attention. Then it will inflame and the pain is much more. Scenario 2: You feel pain in the tooth, you immediately make an appointment at the dentist and shortly it is recovered. The example is a pain in the physical body which is more prominent or touchable than emotional pain. Working with the unconscious can be new and therefor you might not know where to start.


Meditation & Yoga
There are different ways to enter your subconscious by our self, like meditation. Becoming aware when you are feeling emotions and why are key in this process. This simple but powerful method is ancient. You sit, close your eyes and connect with the breath. Meditation needs to be build up starting with a few minutes and expanding gradually. I meditated every day 1 hour for 3 month and I can assure you that the insights will come by themselves, when you surrender. To start a journal can be very helpful to write down these precious insights before they vanish like a dream. If meditation is a bit challenging I advise you to start with yoga. There are different Yoga styles, I recommend to start with Hatha or Yin yoga. These styles are more relaxing and restorative. Yoga classes are usually 1 hour and this time is a one on one connection with yourself. The more you do yoga you will start to feel that the body tells the pattern story by itself. Notice how you have pain in a certain part of the body which can come back again and again? Every part of the body has a deeper spiritual meaning which you can look up online.


Alternative healing & Family constellation
There are also so many alternative therapies that you can try! Forget about a psychologist, talking alone will not be an easy access to the subconscious and emotions. From my experience I can recommend Reiki as gentle yet powerful healing technique. As a Reiki Master I give Reiki to others and myself. In a Reiki session you lay down and relax while Reiki does all the work. The overall recommendation is to do 3 Reiki sessions to feel the result. I also tried a breath work session which can go deeper to the emotions and trauma in a direct manner. In a breath work session you also lay down and you will take on a certain type of breath (in this case the circular breath). The body will react and a chance to let go of deeper patterns is possible. If you are ready to dive deep into your patterns I can recommend a family constellation. In the constellation different people represent your family members. You place the family member’s representatives in a distance of yourself like you want. Together with the facilitator you will dive into your patterns, the family connections and roles. I was a spectator at one family constellation from a friend and this was already insights full towards my own family patterns.

Like I mentioned, there are so many alternative therapies. Think of past life regression but also walking in nature and christals can be healing.I am definitely going to try more alternative healing. I will keep on healing and breaking patterns, the more I heal the more light and free I feel. It is so, so,so worth it, this I can assure you!!! So are you ready to be honest to yourself? Are you willing to let go, break the chain, change and transform?


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